• Paragraph/OER Guidance– DRAFT v5

    • A paragraph is the articulation of a fully developed thought.
    • Structures are useful as a beginning scaffold, but should be seen as flexible or unnecessary as student writing develops.
    • A  paragraph should contain the following structure:
      • State an Argument,
      • Support it with Evidence (NEZZ each quote),
      • Underscore it with a Clincher

    Argument

    Every paragraph should begin with an argument that states how or why (for analysis) or what (for expository writing).  The argument must be something that cannot be instantly labeled as true or false, but must be defended with evidence.

    Evidence

    We use the NEZZ structure for evidence.  This may be used multiple times, for multiple pieces of evidence.

    Name it

    Name the literary device or technique being used

    ·         “Here, Morrison uses a metaphor to describe Pecola”

    ·         “Kooser’s description of the farmhouse evokes a sense of loneliness.”

    ·         “Shakespeare’s diction helps him paint a dire picture of beauty.”

     

    Explain it

    Provide context for your evidence, chunk and cite it, and add any additional explanation to clarify meaning for readers or provide background.  This may sometimes occur the same sentence as the “Name it.”

    ·         When Smith calls her character a “twisted sunflower,” she suggests she is both hopeful and damaged (23).

    ·         Shakespeare uses the words “wreckful siege,” “battering days” and “gates impregnable” to establish that time is at odds with beauty.

    ·         When Andrew puts the harmonica to his mouth for the first time, Fenner writes that it “bleeds song” (34).

    ·         In Dr. King’s eulogy he pays tribute to the 4 little girls who died in the 14th Street Baptist Church Bombing.  He explains that…

     

    Zoom in
     

    When analyzing figurative language or diction only, scrutinize the specific word(s) being used and the connotation.  (Only use this when appropriate.)

    ·         Tan chose to compare the criss-crossed knife marks to bicycle tires [and not something else with that pattern] because this image connotes something dirty, or possibly conjures the idea of road kill.

    ·         Taken together, the pattern of diction in the second quatrain evoke the notion of war (5-8).

     

    Zoom out

    Explain the author’s purpose behind using the evidence you selected; how does it connect to a larger idea?  What is the consequence of the choice the author made?

    ·         Tan’s comparison ultimately helps her convey how embarrassed her narrator is by her own culture.

    ·         Shakespeare’s belligerent language underscores how powerless beauty is against the ravages of time.

    ·         Myer’s use of symbolism conveys the larger message that…

     

    Clincher

    A paragraph should end with a statement that reaffirms its argument by synthesizing the evidence provided.  This paragraph answers the “SW” or “so what?” for a paragraph.

    ·         “By establishing a clear connection between beauty and virtue, Morrison implies that to be fair is also to be good, a sentiment clearly at odds with this next quatrain.”

    ·         “Poe’s protagonist clearly isn’t someone who can be trusted.  As a result, the entire narrative becomes destabilized in a way that adds tension for the reader.”

    Exceptions – You won’t always use all of NEZZ.  For example, an expository paragraph might simply have an argument, “explain it,” “zoom out,” and a clincher.  Advanced writers will find that they are able to blend and reorganize different components of this cycle.

    Paragraph Revision Codes 

    General codes

    You have a new/ blank sheet

    Handwriting or effort is unacceptable.  Redo the worksheet.

    A

    The argument is weak. 

    ·         It doesn’t explain how or why OR

    ·         It is simply a piece of evidence or fact about the book.

    N

    You need to name the technique being used.

    ·         “Here, Morrison uses a metaphor to describe Pecola”

    ·         “Kooser’s description of the farmhouse evokes a sense of loneliness.”

     

    E

    Your evidence is weak.  Choose stronger evidence.

    ·         Chunk your quote or choose a new one.

    ·         Add context for your quote.  Who says this and why/when?

    ·         Use proper citation format. 
    True Son is described as having “burning dark eyes” (Richter 55).

     

    Zi

    Weak or missing zoom in. 

    ·         Comment on the specific diction being used and any connotations it has.

    ·         Consider another word that has a similar definition to the word the author used. What would be different if the author had chosen that word?

    Zo

    Weak or missing zoom out. 

    ·         After each quote, explain the author’s purpose behind including this language or moment in the text.

     

    SW?

    Weak or missing clincher.

    ·         Think about what all of your evidence says, taken together.  Answer the question, “so what”?

    !!

    This is a really strong sentence/section.

    ·         Re-read your writing to see what made it sing!

     

     

     

    Paragraph Revision Codes – TEACHER GUIDE

    Code

    Meaning

    Teacher Language

    You have a new/ blank sheet

    Handwriting or effort is unacceptable.  Redo the worksheet.

    ·         “Please try this again.”
    “You can put forth a better effort than this.”

    A

    The argument is weak. 

    ·         It doesn’t explain how or why OR

    ·         It is simply a piece of evidence or fact about the book.

    ·         “Your argument needs to explain how or why.”

    ·         “This is a fact, not an argument.”

    N

    You need to name the technique being used.

    ·         “Here, Morrison uses a metaphor to describe Pecola”

    ·         “Kooser’s description of the farmhouse evokes a sense of loneliness.”

    ·         “Name the technique being used.”

    ·         “What technique is this?  Name it.”

    ·         “You said this is symbolism. It isn’t. Look at the first stanza.”

    E

    Your evidence is weak.  Choose stronger evidence.

    ·         Chunk your quote or choose a new one.

    ·         Add context for your quote.  Who says this and why/when?

    ·         Use proper citation format. 
    True Son is described as having “burning dark eyes” (Richter 55).

     

    ·         “This evidence is weak.  Go back and review our class notes and re-try.”

    ·         “Chunk this quote.”

    ·         “Please cite properly. Check your notes on this.”

    ·         “This is awkward context.  Who says this and why/when?”

    Zi

    Weak or missing zoom in. 

    ·         Comment on the specific diction being used and any connotations it has.

    ·         Consider another word that has a similar definition to the word the author used. What would be different if the author had chosen that word?

    ·         “Choose stronger diction to zoom in on.  Pick a word that has strong connotations.”

    ·         “Does this word have a positive or negative connotation?”

    ·         “You need to compare this word to a related word that could replace it.  For example, why use ‘vulture’ instead of ‘dove’?”

    Zo

    Weak or missing zoom out. 

    ·         After each quote, explain the author’s purpose behind including this language or moment in the text.

     

    ·         “You haven’t linked your evidence to a larger purpose.  Go back and review your notes on the text.”

    ·         “What is the argument your paragraph is making?  Add a sentence that connects this evidence to that argument.”

    SW

    Weak or missing clincher.

    ·         Think about what all of your evidence says, taken together.  Answer the question, “so what”?

    ·         “Tell me: so what?”

    ·         “If I think about it all together, what does this evidence show?”

    ·         What’s the larger point you’re trying to make (or the text is trying to make)?

    !!

    This is a really strong sentence/section.

    ·         Re-read your writing to see what made it sing!

    ·         “This is strong.  Do you know why?”

     

     

    Appendix A: TAQE v. NEZZ, a Case Study

    Below are two examples of writing that earned a “3” in 6th grade.  Compare the difference between a “3” under TAQE and one under NEZZ.  For this comparison, focus more on the analysis of evidence than the full paragraph structure.

    TAQE, “3+”:

                    In the poem “Identity” by Julio Noboa, Polanco expresses a weed and a flower.  The weed is seen as ugly.  The flower is seen as beautiful.  Noboa uses symbols int eh poem.  The two symbols are a flower and a weed.  The flower symbolizes society’s idea of beauty.  Society sees beauty as models, and our use of material goods.  The weed symbolizes independence.  Noboa writes, “Let them be as flowers, always watered, fed, guarded, admired, but harnessed to a pot of dirt.  I’d rather be a tall, ugly weed, clinging on cliffs, like an eagle, wind-wavering above high, jagged rocks” (Noboa stanzas 1-2).  The flower symbolizes society’s beauty.  The weed symbolizes independence.  No one wants to put them on the table or water so it can do anything it wants.  Noboa includes this in his scene to share the overall message in the poem because Noboa is saying it’s better to be yourself than transform yourself into “society’s idea of beauty.”

    NEZZ, “3”:

                    In the novel, The House on Mango Street, the protagonist Rafeela, a woman abused by her husband, and Sally, who is abused by her husband and father, escape abuse through symbolism.  Cisneros uses symbolism to convey the theme.  Cisneros uses [the imagery of] “linoleum roses” to describe the kitchen floor.  Cisneros could have used tiles or word, but instead she uses “linoleum roses.”  Linoleum is cheap material used on floors.  From far away it looks perfect, but if you look closely it is cheap.  Cisneros uses this [as a symbol] to convey that Sally’s [life] isn’t what it seems to be.  It is masquerading.  From far away it looks perfect, but up close she is trapped.  She is locked in her house so that she won’t escape.  Is this the type of life you want?  Is this the type of place you want to live in?  Of course not!  You will want to be free.  You will want to escape.  Just like Sally.

    Appendix B: NEZZ with expository writing

    Below is part of an essay from [a highly advanced!] 6th grader.  It adapts NEZZ for expository writing. 

                    In the article “The Short Happy Life of a Serengeti Lion,” from National Geographic by David Quammen, the audience learns of the harsh and difficult lives led by lions in the rarely forgiving terrain of Africa.  This constant adversity, the frequent possibility of an impending demise, makes the [lion] fearless in battle.  John, the protagonist in the novel You Don’t know Me, by David Klass, mirrors several aspects of this behavior when facing his own hardships.

                    John is a 14-year-old boy abused by his mother’s boyfriend, Stan.  To escape his abuse, and the other adversities of life, he fantasizes.  Many of his fantasies are of a fictitious African tribe christened as the Lashasa Palulu.  This tribe is strong and brave in the face of hardship.  John uses them as inspiration.  Klass could have had John fantasize about anyone or anything, like a superhero or animal.  This choice was intentional due to the Lashasa Palul’s distinct similarities to the ferocious lions of the Serengeti.  (NE) According to Quammene, “It’s a tough ‘hood out there” (paragraph 20) in Africa where Serengeti lions have to survive.  This is analogous to how John often compares his house to a “war zone” (Klass 94).  For the lions and John, “life is hard and dangerous… and dead is dead” (Quammen 1).  They need to fight for their own survival in the “difficult landscapes” (Quammen 1) they call home.  (ZO) Klass purposefully [has John create] the Lashasa Palulu because they are fierce and strong like the Serengeti lion.  They are brave and ferocious.  John also had to be brave.  Near the end of the novel he was attacked and nearly beaten to death by Stand.  But like C-Boy, one of the lions in the article, John refused to back down in the face of a greater enemy.  He uses the Lashasa Palulu as an inspiration in battle.  He draws on their traits and customs for strength.  His resilience teaches readers to stand up to adversity.


    Appendix C: Rubric, grades 5-8
    OPEN-ENDED RESPONSE—GRADES 5-8

    Category

    Excellent

    Good

    Fair

    Needs Improvement

     

    10 points

    8 points

    5 points

    3 points

    Argument

    The paragraph makes a clear argument, explaining what, how or why.

     

    The writing demonstrates a full understanding of the task and text, and completes all task requirements in a compelling way.

    The paragraph makes an argument, explaining what, how or why.

     

    The text demonstrates an understanding of the task and text, and completes all task requirements.  

    The paragraph makes an argument, though it may be unclear or vague.

     

    The text demonstrates a partial understanding of the task and text, making basic points and/or not completing some task requirements.

    The paragraph does not make an argument.

     

    The text demonstrates a minimal understanding of the task and text, and does not address part(s) of the task requirements.

    Name It
    (only use with literary or structural devices)

    The paragraph names literary devices being used where appropriate.  It weaves this naturally into the text, either before or after the evidence.

    The paragraph names most literary or structural devices being used.  

    The paragraph may not name devices that are being used.

     

    The paragraph does not name devices that are being used, making analysis unclear.

     

    Explain it

    The text provides properly cited evidence with helpful context that gives readers what they need to know for the subsequent analysis.

     

    Quotes are the right length for the analysis and fully support the argument.

    The text provides properly cited evidence with some context. 

     

    Quotes are generally the right length for the analysis and support the argument.

     

     

    The text may not provide properly cited evidence with context. 

     

    Quotes may be too long or too short for analysis or only loosely connect to the argument.

     

    The text does not provide properly cited evidence with context, or the evidence does not connect to the argument. 

     

    Quotes are too long or too short for analysis.

    Zoom in
    (only use in cases where diction is powerful – words/phrases that repeat, are used in atypical ways, have strong connotations)

    The text makes the right choices about when to zoom in on key diction, dissecting its connotations accurately.  

     

    The text “zooms in” on a piece of diction or phrase by providing text evidence first, then analyzing a “quote from the quote.”

    The text usually makes the right choices about when to zoom in on key diction, dissecting its connotations.

     

    The text mostly  “zooms in” on a piece of diction or phrase by providing text evidence first, then analyzing a “quote from the quote.”

    The text may miss opportunities to zoom in on powerful diction, or it zooms in on diction that is inappropriate.

     

    The text consistently fails to zoom in on powerful diction, or it zooms in on diction that is inappropriate.

     

    Zoom out

    The analysis always links evidence used to the author’s broader purpose or message.

    The analysis links evidence used to the author’s broader purpose or message.

    The analysis sometimes does not link evidence to the author’s broader purpose or message.

    The analysis fails to link evidence to the author’s broader purpose or message.

    Clincher

    The paragraph closes with a clincher that ties together the evidence used and extends the argument by answering: “so what”?

    The paragraph closes with a clincher that echoes the argument by answering: “so what”?

    A clincher is present, but it is unclear or does not explain the significance of the quotes provided for the argument.

    The clincher is unclear or nonexistent.

     

    5 points each

    3 points each

    2 points each

    1 point each

    Spelling and Grammar

     

    No Errors

     

    Few errors

     

    Several errors

     

    Many errors

     

    Language and
    Voice

    Writer accurately uses 3 or more sophisticated vocabulary words. Writer uses descriptive words and phrases, drawing pictures in the reader’s mind.   

     

    The author uses an academic voice, taking successful compositional risks.

    Writer accurately uses 2 sophisticated vocabulary words. Writer takes risks with words or phrases, but sometimes the words are used inaccurately.  

     

    Overall, the author uses a formal voice and may attempt compositional risks. 

    Writer uses clear and appropriate words, but the writing lacks variety and flair. The voice may feel formulaic at times.

     

    The author sometimes strays from an academic voice and uses colloquial language in multiple places. 

    Writer uses limited vocabulary that does not capture the reader’s interest.  Writer uses dialect.

     

     

    Structure and
    Flow

    All sentences are complete and sound natural.  The sentences vary in structure, including complex, compound, and simple.

     

    Details are well-organized and sequenced with a variety of thoughtful transitions that clearly show how ideas are connected.

    All sentences are complete.  The sentences are similar in structure, including compound and simple.

     

    Details are organized and sequenced with transitions that show how ideas are connected, but at times may be awkward.

    Some sentences may be fragments and/or run-ons, or are otherwise awkward.  Complete sentences are similar in structure.

     

    Details may be disorganized and random.  Transitions are lacking or are the basic first, second, third type.

    Many sentences are fragments, run-ons, and/or are awkward which affect the reader’s comprehension.

     

    Details are jumbled and there is no sense of sequence.  The transition between ideas is largely missing.

    Composition                          + Conventions                      = Total Score:                       /75 points possible  =                                                       Excellent: 4, Good: 3, Fair: 2, NI: 1
    **N.B. If the response does not address all bullet points or questions it cannot receive a overall score of three.  Off-topic responses receive a 0.**

    Appendix D: Rubric, grades 9-12
    Student’s Name:                                                                                                  Open-Ended Assignment:                                                                                  Date:                                     
    OPEN-ENDED RESPONSE—GRADES 9-12

    Category

    Excellent

    Good

    Fair

    Needs Improvement

     

    10 points

    8 points

    5 points

    3 points

    Understanding the Task, Voice & Originality of Ideas

    The text demonstrates a full understanding of the task and text, and completes all task requirements in a compelling way, making 2+ striking inferences and/or 2+ intra-text connections.  It maintains an academic voice that successfully takes compositional risks in the right moments.

     

    Provides relevant, accurate evidence and/or quote(s) from the text or learned material that addresses the question and supports the argument.   

    The text demonstrates an understanding of the task and text, and completes all task requirements, making 1 striking inference and/or 1 intra-text connection. It maintains an academic voice that attempts compositional risks with some success.

     

    Provides accurate evidence and/or quote(s) from the text or learned material that addresses the question and supports the argument. 

    The text demonstrates a partial understanding of the task and text, making basic points and/or not completing some task requirements (i.e., missing bullet point). It maintains an academic voice.

     

     

    May provide evidence and/or quote(s) from the text or learned material, but evidence is not relevant or accurate to the topic sentence.

    The text demonstrates a minimal understanding of the task and text, and does not address part(s) of the task requirements. It may not maintains an academic voice.

     

     

    Evidence is not used or does does not support the topic sentence.

     

     

     

    Organization & Sequence

    q  Argument

    q  NEZZ

    q  Clincher

    The paragraph makes a clear argument, explaining what, how or why.  It artfully weaves the components of a strong paragraph, rather than relying on a formula.

     

    Evidence builds the argument, with analysis later in the paragraph adding to that used earlier in the paragraph.  The paragraph may take compositional risks with its structure.

     

    The transitions make individual details fluent and progress logically.

     

    The paragraph closes with a clincher that ties together the evidence used and answers the question “so what”?

    The paragraph makes an argument, explaining what, how or why. It contains all of the components of a strong paragraph.

     

    Details are well-organized and sequenced with a variety of thoughtful transitions that clearly show how ideas are connected.

     

    The transitions make the major topics fluent and progress logically, but some transition words are basic (“This shows…”).

     

    The paragraph closes with a clincher that answers the question “so what”?

    The paragraph makes an argument, thought it may be unclear or vague. It contains all of the components of a strong paragraph.

     

    Details may be disorganized and random.  Transitions are lacking or are the basic first, second, third type.  

    Ideas are disconnected and stilted. OR, Transition words attempt to make the major topics fluent, but have little to no variety.

     

    A clincher is present, but it is unclear or does not explain the significance of the quotes provided for the argument.

    The paragraph does not make an argument.

     

    Details are jumbled and there is no sense of sequence.  The transitions between ideas are unclear or nonexistent.

     

    Transition words or phrases attempt to make the major topics fluent but are used incorrectly OR writing sounds like a list.

     

    The clincher is unclear or nonexistent.

    Analysis:

    Name it/ Explain it

    N - The paragraph names devices being used where appropriate.

     

    E- The text provides properly cited evidence with helpful context.  Quotes are the right length for the analysis.

    N - The paragraph names most devices being used.

     

    E- The text provides properly cited evidence with context.  Quotes are generally the right length for the analysis.

    N - The paragraph may not name devices that are being used.

     

    E- The text may not provide properly cited evidence with context.  OR Quotes may be too long or too short for analysis.

    N - The paragraph does not name devices that are being used.

     

    E- The text does not provide properly cited evidence with context.  OR Quotes are too long or too short for analysis.

    Analysis:

    Zoom in/Zoom out

    Zi – The text makes the right choices about when to zoom in on diction, dissecting its connotations accurately.

     

    Zo – The analysis always links evidence used to the author’s broader purpose.

    Zi – The text usually makes the right choices about when to zoom in on diction, dissecting its connotations.

     

    Zo – The analysis links evidence used to the author’s broader purpose.

    Zi – The text may miss opportunities to zoom in on powerful diction, or it zooms in on diction that is inappropriate.

     

    Zo – The analysis sometimes does not link evidence to the author’s broader purpose.

    Zi – The text consistently fails to zoom in on powerful diction, or it zooms in on diction that is inappropriate.

     

    Zo – The analysis fails to link evidence to the author’s broader purpose.

     

     

    10 points (total)

    2 points each

    7.5 points (total)

    1.5 points each

    5 points (total)

    1 point each

    2.5 points (total)

    0.5 point each

     

    Spelling

     

    No Errors

     

    Few errors

     

    Several errors

     

    Many errors

    Capitalization, Punctuation, Proper Citation of Quotes

     

    No Errors

     

    Few errors

     

    Several errors

     

    Many errors

    Grammar: Subject-Verb Agreement, Verb Tense, previously taught skills

     

    No Errors

     

    Few errors

     

    Several errors

     

    Many errors

     

    Word Choice

    Writer accurately uses 3 or more sophisticated vocabulary words. Writer uses descriptive words and phrases, drawing pictures in the reader’s mind.  Writer consistently uses formal English.

     

    Writer accurately uses 2 sophisticated vocabulary words. Writer takes risks with words or phrases, but sometimes the words are used inaccurately. Writer uses only formal English.

    Writer uses clear and appropriate words, but the writing lacks variety and flair. At times, writer may use informal English.

    Writer uses limited vocabulary that does not capture the reader’s interest.  Writer uses dialect.

     

    Sentence Structure

    All sentences are complete and sound natural.  The sentences vary in structure, including complex, compound, and simple.

     

    All sentences are complete.  The sentences are similar in structure, including compound and simple.

    Some sentences may be fragments and/or run-ons, or are otherwise awkward.  Complete sentences are similar in structure.

    Many sentences are fragments, run-ons, and/or are awkward which affect the reader’s comprehension.

    Composition                          + Conventions                      = Total Score:                      ÷ 12.5 =                                                                Excellent: 4, Good: 3, Fair: 2, NI: 1
    **N.B. If the response does not address all bullet points or questions it cannot receive a overall score of three.  Off-topic responses receive a 0.**

    Appendix E: Possible K-12 Scope and Sequence for paragraph writing

    Old Model:

    K

    1

    2

    3

    4

    5

    6

    7

    8

    9

    10

    11

    12

    College

    Composition and Clarity

    ·         RACE (structuring open-ended writing)

    ·         Evidence Use/Citation

    ·         Explanation of evidence

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Composition and Clarity

    ·         TAQE (structuring open-ended writing)

    ·         Evidence Use/Citation

    ·         Explanation of evidence

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Composition and Analysis

    ·         SEXI (structuring open-ended writing)

    ·         Evidence Use/Citation

    ·         Quality/originality of analysis

    ·         TS’s that argue

    ·         “Insight”

                                                                                                                                             
    New Model:

    K

    1

    2

    3

    4

    5

    6

    7

    8

    9

    10

    11

    12

    College

    Composition and Clarity

    ·         RACE (structuring open-ended writing)

    ·         Evidence Use/Citation

    ·         Explanation of evidence

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Argumentation and Analysis

    ·         TS’s that argue

    ·         Quality/originality of analysis (NEZZ)

    ·         Basic compositional risks

    ·         Clinchers

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Structure, Style and Originality

    ·         TS’s that argue

    ·         Organizing Evidence to build to a clincher

    ·         Quality/originality of analysis (NEZZ)

    ·         Style (advanced compositional risks)

    ·         Structural flexibility

     

     

    Paragraph/OER Guidance– DRAFT v5

    • A paragraph is the articulation of a fully developed thought.
    • Structures are useful as a beginning scaffold, but should be seen as flexible or unnecessary as student writing develops.
    • A  paragraph should contain the following structure:
      • State an Argument,
      • Support it with Evidence (NEZZ each quote),
      • Underscore it with a Clincher

    Argument

    Every paragraph should begin with an argument that states how or why (for analysis) or what (for expository writing).  The argument must be something that cannot be instantly labeled as true or false, but must be defended with evidence.

    Evidence

    We use the NEZZ structure for evidence.  This may be used multiple times, for multiple pieces of evidence.

    Name it

    Name the literary device or technique being used

    ·         “Here, Morrison uses a metaphor to describe Pecola”

    ·         “Kooser’s description of the farmhouse evokes a sense of loneliness.”

    ·         “Shakespeare’s diction helps him paint a dire picture of beauty.”

     

    Explain it

    Provide context for your evidence, chunk and cite it, and add any additional explanation to clarify meaning for readers or provide background.  This may sometimes occur the same sentence as the “Name it.”

    ·         When Smith calls her character a “twisted sunflower,” she suggests she is both hopeful and damaged (23).

    ·         Shakespeare uses the words “wreckful siege,” “battering days” and “gates impregnable” to establish that time is at odds with beauty.

    ·         When Andrew puts the harmonica to his mouth for the first time, Fenner writes that it “bleeds song” (34).

    ·         In Dr. King’s eulogy he pays tribute to the 4 little girls who died in the 14th Street Baptist Church Bombing.  He explains that…

     

    Zoom in
     

    When analyzing figurative language or diction only, scrutinize the specific word(s) being used and the connotation.  (Only use this when appropriate.)

    ·         Tan chose to compare the criss-crossed knife marks to bicycle tires [and not something else with that pattern] because this image connotes something dirty, or possibly conjures the idea of road kill.

    ·         Taken together, the pattern of diction in the second quatrain evoke the notion of war (5-8).

     

    Zoom out

    Explain the author’s purpose behind using the evidence you selected; how does it connect to a larger idea?  What is the consequence of the choice the author made?

    ·         Tan’s comparison ultimately helps her convey how embarrassed her narrator is by her own culture.

    ·         Shakespeare’s belligerent language underscores how powerless beauty is against the ravages of time.

    ·         Myer’s use of symbolism conveys the larger message that…

     

    Clincher

    A paragraph should end with a statement that reaffirms its argument by synthesizing the evidence provided.  This paragraph answers the “SW” or “so what?” for a paragraph.

    ·         “By establishing a clear connection between beauty and virtue, Morrison implies that to be fair is also to be good, a sentiment clearly at odds with this next quatrain.”

    ·         “Poe’s protagonist clearly isn’t someone who can be trusted.  As a result, the entire narrative becomes destabilized in a way that adds tension for the reader.”

    Exceptions – You won’t always use all of NEZZ.  For example, an expository paragraph might simply have an argument, “explain it,” “zoom out,” and a clincher.  Advanced writers will find that they are able to blend and reorganize different components of this cycle.

    Paragraph Revision Codes 

    General codes

    You have a new/ blank sheet

    Handwriting or effort is unacceptable.  Redo the worksheet.

    A

    The argument is weak. 

    ·         It doesn’t explain how or why OR

    ·         It is simply a piece of evidence or fact about the book.

    N

    You need to name the technique being used.

    ·         “Here, Morrison uses a metaphor to describe Pecola”

    ·         “Kooser’s description of the farmhouse evokes a sense of loneliness.”

     

    E

    Your evidence is weak.  Choose stronger evidence.

    ·         Chunk your quote or choose a new one.

    ·         Add context for your quote.  Who says this and why/when?

    ·         Use proper citation format. 
    True Son is described as having “burning dark eyes” (Richter 55).

     

    Zi

    Weak or missing zoom in. 

    ·         Comment on the specific diction being used and any connotations it has.

    ·         Consider another word that has a similar definition to the word the author used. What would be different if the author had chosen that word?

    Zo

    Weak or missing zoom out. 

    ·         After each quote, explain the author’s purpose behind including this language or moment in the text.

     

    SW?

    Weak or missing clincher.

    ·         Think about what all of your evidence says, taken together.  Answer the question, “so what”?

    !!

    This is a really strong sentence/section.

    ·         Re-read your writing to see what made it sing!

     

     

     

    Paragraph Revision Codes – TEACHER GUIDE

    Code

    Meaning

    Teacher Language

    You have a new/ blank sheet

    Handwriting or effort is unacceptable.  Redo the worksheet.

    ·         “Please try this again.”
    “You can put forth a better effort than this.”

    A

    The argument is weak. 

    ·         It doesn’t explain how or why OR

    ·         It is simply a piece of evidence or fact about the book.

    ·         “Your argument needs to explain how or why.”

    ·         “This is a fact, not an argument.”

    N

    You need to name the technique being used.

    ·         “Here, Morrison uses a metaphor to describe Pecola”

    ·         “Kooser’s description of the farmhouse evokes a sense of loneliness.”

    ·         “Name the technique being used.”

    ·         “What technique is this?  Name it.”

    ·         “You said this is symbolism. It isn’t. Look at the first stanza.”

    E

    Your evidence is weak.  Choose stronger evidence.

    ·         Chunk your quote or choose a new one.

    ·         Add context for your quote.  Who says this and why/when?

    ·         Use proper citation format. 
    True Son is described as having “burning dark eyes” (Richter 55).

     

    ·         “This evidence is weak.  Go back and review our class notes and re-try.”

    ·         “Chunk this quote.”

    ·         “Please cite properly. Check your notes on this.”

    ·         “This is awkward context.  Who says this and why/when?”

    Zi

    Weak or missing zoom in. 

    ·         Comment on the specific diction being used and any connotations it has.

    ·         Consider another word that has a similar definition to the word the author used. What would be different if the author had chosen that word?

    ·         “Choose stronger diction to zoom in on.  Pick a word that has strong connotations.”

    ·         “Does this word have a positive or negative connotation?”

    ·         “You need to compare this word to a related word that could replace it.  For example, why use ‘vulture’ instead of ‘dove’?”

    Zo

    Weak or missing zoom out. 

    ·         After each quote, explain the author’s purpose behind including this language or moment in the text.

     

    ·         “You haven’t linked your evidence to a larger purpose.  Go back and review your notes on the text.”

    ·         “What is the argument your paragraph is making?  Add a sentence that connects this evidence to that argument.”

    SW

    Weak or missing clincher.

    ·         Think about what all of your evidence says, taken together.  Answer the question, “so what”?

    ·         “Tell me: so what?”

    ·         “If I think about it all together, what does this evidence show?”

    ·         What’s the larger point you’re trying to make (or the text is trying to make)?

    !!

    This is a really strong sentence/section.

    ·         Re-read your writing to see what made it sing!

    ·         “This is strong.  Do you know why?”

     

     

    Appendix A: TAQE v. NEZZ, a Case Study

    Below are two examples of writing that earned a “3” in 6th grade.  Compare the difference between a “3” under TAQE and one under NEZZ.  For this comparison, focus more on the analysis of evidence than the full paragraph structure.

    TAQE, “3+”:

                    In the poem “Identity” by Julio Noboa, Polanco expresses a weed and a flower.  The weed is seen as ugly.  The flower is seen as beautiful.  Noboa uses symbols int eh poem.  The two symbols are a flower and a weed.  The flower symbolizes society’s idea of beauty.  Society sees beauty as models, and our use of material goods.  The weed symbolizes independence.  Noboa writes, “Let them be as flowers, always watered, fed, guarded, admired, but harnessed to a pot of dirt.  I’d rather be a tall, ugly weed, clinging on cliffs, like an eagle, wind-wavering above high, jagged rocks” (Noboa stanzas 1-2).  The flower symbolizes society’s beauty.  The weed symbolizes independence.  No one wants to put them on the table or water so it can do anything it wants.  Noboa includes this in his scene to share the overall message in the poem because Noboa is saying it’s better to be yourself than transform yourself into “society’s idea of beauty.”

    NEZZ, “3”:

                    In the novel, The House on Mango Street, the protagonist Rafeela, a woman abused by her husband, and Sally, who is abused by her husband and father, escape abuse through symbolism.  Cisneros uses symbolism to convey the theme.  Cisneros uses [the imagery of] “linoleum roses” to describe the kitchen floor.  Cisneros could have used tiles or word, but instead she uses “linoleum roses.”  Linoleum is cheap material used on floors.  From far away it looks perfect, but if you look closely it is cheap.  Cisneros uses this [as a symbol] to convey that Sally’s [life] isn’t what it seems to be.  It is masquerading.  From far away it looks perfect, but up close she is trapped.  She is locked in her house so that she won’t escape.  Is this the type of life you want?  Is this the type of place you want to live in?  Of course not!  You will want to be free.  You will want to escape.  Just like Sally.

    Appendix B: NEZZ with expository writing

    Below is part of an essay from [a highly advanced!] 6th grader.  It adapts NEZZ for expository writing. 

                    In the article “The Short Happy Life of a Serengeti Lion,” from National Geographic by David Quammen, the audience learns of the harsh and difficult lives led by lions in the rarely forgiving terrain of Africa.  This constant adversity, the frequent possibility of an impending demise, makes the [lion] fearless in battle.  John, the protagonist in the novel You Don’t know Me, by David Klass, mirrors several aspects of this behavior when facing his own hardships.

                    John is a 14-year-old boy abused by his mother’s boyfriend, Stan.  To escape his abuse, and the other adversities of life, he fantasizes.  Many of his fantasies are of a fictitious African tribe christened as the Lashasa Palulu.  This tribe is strong and brave in the face of hardship.  John uses them as inspiration.  Klass could have had John fantasize about anyone or anything, like a superhero or animal.  This choice was intentional due to the Lashasa Palul’s distinct similarities to the ferocious lions of the Serengeti.  (NE) According to Quammene, “It’s a tough ‘hood out there” (paragraph 20) in Africa where Serengeti lions have to survive.  This is analogous to how John often compares his house to a “war zone” (Klass 94).  For the lions and John, “life is hard and dangerous… and dead is dead” (Quammen 1).  They need to fight for their own survival in the “difficult landscapes” (Quammen 1) they call home.  (ZO) Klass purposefully [has John create] the Lashasa Palulu because they are fierce and strong like the Serengeti lion.  They are brave and ferocious.  John also had to be brave.  Near the end of the novel he was attacked and nearly beaten to death by Stand.  But like C-Boy, one of the lions in the article, John refused to back down in the face of a greater enemy.  He uses the Lashasa Palulu as an inspiration in battle.  He draws on their traits and customs for strength.  His resilience teaches readers to stand up to adversity.


    Appendix C: Rubric, grades 5-8
    OPEN-ENDED RESPONSE—GRADES 5-8

    Category

    Excellent

    Good

    Fair

    Needs Improvement

     

    10 points

    8 points

    5 points

    3 points

    Argument

    The paragraph makes a clear argument, explaining what, how or why.

     

    The writing demonstrates a full understanding of the task and text, and completes all task requirements in a compelling way.

    The paragraph makes an argument, explaining what, how or why.

     

    The text demonstrates an understanding of the task and text, and completes all task requirements.  

    The paragraph makes an argument, though it may be unclear or vague.

     

    The text demonstrates a partial understanding of the task and text, making basic points and/or not completing some task requirements.

    The paragraph does not make an argument.

     

    The text demonstrates a minimal understanding of the task and text, and does not address part(s) of the task requirements.

    Name It
    (only use with literary or structural devices)

    The paragraph names literary devices being used where appropriate.  It weaves this naturally into the text, either before or after the evidence.

    The paragraph names most literary or structural devices being used.  

    The paragraph may not name devices that are being used.

     

    The paragraph does not name devices that are being used, making analysis unclear.

     

    Explain it

    The text provides properly cited evidence with helpful context that gives readers what they need to know for the subsequent analysis.

     

    Quotes are the right length for the analysis and fully support the argument.

    The text provides properly cited evidence with some context. 

     

    Quotes are generally the right length for the analysis and support the argument.

     

     

    The text may not provide properly cited evidence with context. 

     

    Quotes may be too long or too short for analysis or only loosely connect to the argument.

     

    The text does not provide properly cited evidence with context, or the evidence does not connect to the argument. 

     

    Quotes are too long or too short for analysis.

    Zoom in
    (only use in cases where diction is powerful – words/phrases that repeat, are used in atypical ways, have strong connotations)

    The text makes the right choices about when to zoom in on key diction, dissecting its connotations accurately.  

     

    The text “zooms in” on a piece of diction or phrase by providing text evidence first, then analyzing a “quote from the quote.”

    The text usually makes the right choices about when to zoom in on key diction, dissecting its connotations.

     

    The text mostly  “zooms in” on a piece of diction or phrase by providing text evidence first, then analyzing a “quote from the quote.”

    The text may miss opportunities to zoom in on powerful diction, or it zooms in on diction that is inappropriate.

     

    The text consistently fails to zoom in on powerful diction, or it zooms in on diction that is inappropriate.

     

    Zoom out

    The analysis always links evidence used to the author’s broader purpose or message.

    The analysis links evidence used to the author’s broader purpose or message.

    The analysis sometimes does not link evidence to the author’s broader purpose or message.

    The analysis fails to link evidence to the author’s broader purpose or message.

    Clincher

    The paragraph closes with a clincher that ties together the evidence used and extends the argument by answering: “so what”?

    The paragraph closes with a clincher that echoes the argument by answering: “so what”?

    A clincher is present, but it is unclear or does not explain the significance of the quotes provided for the argument.

    The clincher is unclear or nonexistent.

     

    5 points each

    3 points each

    2 points each

    1 point each

    Spelling and Grammar

     

    No Errors

     

    Few errors

     

    Several errors

     

    Many errors

     

    Language and
    Voice

    Writer accurately uses 3 or more sophisticated vocabulary words. Writer uses descriptive words and phrases, drawing pictures in the reader’s mind.   

     

    The author uses an academic voice, taking successful compositional risks.

    Writer accurately uses 2 sophisticated vocabulary words. Writer takes risks with words or phrases, but sometimes the words are used inaccurately.  

     

    Overall, the author uses a formal voice and may attempt compositional risks. 

    Writer uses clear and appropriate words, but the writing lacks variety and flair. The voice may feel formulaic at times.

     

    The author sometimes strays from an academic voice and uses colloquial language in multiple places. 

    Writer uses limited vocabulary that does not capture the reader’s interest.  Writer uses dialect.

     

     

    Structure and
    Flow

    All sentences are complete and sound natural.  The sentences vary in structure, including complex, compound, and simple.

     

    Details are well-organized and sequenced with a variety of thoughtful transitions that clearly show how ideas are connected.

    All sentences are complete.  The sentences are similar in structure, including compound and simple.

     

    Details are organized and sequenced with transitions that show how ideas are connected, but at times may be awkward.

    Some sentences may be fragments and/or run-ons, or are otherwise awkward.  Complete sentences are similar in structure.

     

    Details may be disorganized and random.  Transitions are lacking or are the basic first, second, third type.

    Many sentences are fragments, run-ons, and/or are awkward which affect the reader’s comprehension.

     

    Details are jumbled and there is no sense of sequence.  The transition between ideas is largely missing.

    Composition                          + Conventions                      = Total Score:                       /75 points possible  =                                                       Excellent: 4, Good: 3, Fair: 2, NI: 1
    **N.B. If the response does not address all bullet points or questions it cannot receive a overall score of three.  Off-topic responses receive a 0.**

    Appendix D: Rubric, grades 9-12
    Student’s Name:                                                                                                  Open-Ended Assignment:                                                                                  Date:                                     
    OPEN-ENDED RESPONSE—GRADES 9-12

    Category

    Excellent

    Good

    Fair

    Needs Improvement

     

    10 points

    8 points

    5 points

    3 points

    Understanding the Task, Voice & Originality of Ideas

    The text demonstrates a full understanding of the task and text, and completes all task requirements in a compelling way, making 2+ striking inferences and/or 2+ intra-text connections.  It maintains an academic voice that successfully takes compositional risks in the right moments.

     

    Provides relevant, accurate evidence and/or quote(s) from the text or learned material that addresses the question and supports the argument.   

    The text demonstrates an understanding of the task and text, and completes all task requirements, making 1 striking inference and/or 1 intra-text connection. It maintains an academic voice that attempts compositional risks with some success.

     

    Provides accurate evidence and/or quote(s) from the text or learned material that addresses the question and supports the argument. 

    The text demonstrates a partial understanding of the task and text, making basic points and/or not completing some task requirements (i.e., missing bullet point). It maintains an academic voice.

     

     

    May provide evidence and/or quote(s) from the text or learned material, but evidence is not relevant or accurate to the topic sentence.

    The text demonstrates a minimal understanding of the task and text, and does not address part(s) of the task requirements. It may not maintains an academic voice.

     

     

    Evidence is not used or does does not support the topic sentence.

     

     

     

    Organization & Sequence

    q  Argument

    q  NEZZ

    q  Clincher

    The paragraph makes a clear argument, explaining what, how or why.  It artfully weaves the components of a strong paragraph, rather than relying on a formula.

     

    Evidence builds the argument, with analysis later in the paragraph adding to that used earlier in the paragraph.  The paragraph may take compositional risks with its structure.

     

    The transitions make individual details fluent and progress logically.

     

    The paragraph closes with a clincher that ties together the evidence used and answers the question “so what”?

    The paragraph makes an argument, explaining what, how or why. It contains all of the components of a strong paragraph.

     

    Details are well-organized and sequenced with a variety of thoughtful transitions that clearly show how ideas are connected.

     

    The transitions make the major topics fluent and progress logically, but some transition words are basic (“This shows…”).

     

    The paragraph closes with a clincher that answers the question “so what”?

    The paragraph makes an argument, thought it may be unclear or vague. It contains all of the components of a strong paragraph.

     

    Details may be disorganized and random.  Transitions are lacking or are the basic first, second, third type.  

    Ideas are disconnected and stilted. OR, Transition words attempt to make the major topics fluent, but have little to no variety.

     

    A clincher is present, but it is unclear or does not explain the significance of the quotes provided for the argument.

    The paragraph does not make an argument.

     

    Details are jumbled and there is no sense of sequence.  The transitions between ideas are unclear or nonexistent.

     

    Transition words or phrases attempt to make the major topics fluent but are used incorrectly OR writing sounds like a list.

     

    The clincher is unclear or nonexistent.

    Analysis:

    Name it/ Explain it

    N - The paragraph names devices being used where appropriate.

     

    E- The text provides properly cited evidence with helpful context.  Quotes are the right length for the analysis.

    N - The paragraph names most devices being used.

     

    E- The text provides properly cited evidence with context.  Quotes are generally the right length for the analysis.

    N - The paragraph may not name devices that are being used.

     

    E- The text may not provide properly cited evidence with context.  OR Quotes may be too long or too short for analysis.

    N - The paragraph does not name devices that are being used.

     

    E- The text does not provide properly cited evidence with context.  OR Quotes are too long or too short for analysis.

    Analysis:

    Zoom in/Zoom out

    Zi – The text makes the right choices about when to zoom in on diction, dissecting its connotations accurately.

     

    Zo – The analysis always links evidence used to the author’s broader purpose.

    Zi – The text usually makes the right choices about when to zoom in on diction, dissecting its connotations.

     

    Zo – The analysis links evidence used to the author’s broader purpose.

    Zi – The text may miss opportunities to zoom in on powerful diction, or it zooms in on diction that is inappropriate.

     

    Zo – The analysis sometimes does not link evidence to the author’s broader purpose.

    Zi – The text consistently fails to zoom in on powerful diction, or it zooms in on diction that is inappropriate.

     

    Zo – The analysis fails to link evidence to the author’s broader purpose.

     

     

    10 points (total)

    2 points each

    7.5 points (total)

    1.5 points each

    5 points (total)

    1 point each

    2.5 points (total)

    0.5 point each

     

    Spelling

     

    No Errors

     

    Few errors

     

    Several errors

     

    Many errors

    Capitalization, Punctuation, Proper Citation of Quotes

     

    No Errors

     

    Few errors

     

    Several errors

     

    Many errors

    Grammar: Subject-Verb Agreement, Verb Tense, previously taught skills

     

    No Errors

     

    Few errors

     

    Several errors

     

    Many errors

     

    Word Choice

    Writer accurately uses 3 or more sophisticated vocabulary words. Writer uses descriptive words and phrases, drawing pictures in the reader’s mind.  Writer consistently uses formal English.

     

    Writer accurately uses 2 sophisticated vocabulary words. Writer takes risks with words or phrases, but sometimes the words are used inaccurately. Writer uses only formal English.

    Writer uses clear and appropriate words, but the writing lacks variety and flair. At times, writer may use informal English.

    Writer uses limited vocabulary that does not capture the reader’s interest.  Writer uses dialect.

     

    Sentence Structure

    All sentences are complete and sound natural.  The sentences vary in structure, including complex, compound, and simple.

     

    All sentences are complete.  The sentences are similar in structure, including compound and simple.

    Some sentences may be fragments and/or run-ons, or are otherwise awkward.  Complete sentences are similar in structure.

    Many sentences are fragments, run-ons, and/or are awkward which affect the reader’s comprehension.

    Composition                          + Conventions                      = Total Score:                      ÷ 12.5 =                                                                Excellent: 4, Good: 3, Fair: 2, NI: 1
    **N.B. If the response does not address all bullet points or questions it cannot receive a overall score of three.  Off-topic responses receive a 0.**

    Appendix E: Possible K-12 Scope and Sequence for paragraph writing

    Old Model:

    K

    1

    2

    3

    4

    5

    6

    7

    8

    9

    10

    11

    12

    College

    Composition and Clarity

    ·         RACE (structuring open-ended writing)

    ·         Evidence Use/Citation

    ·         Explanation of evidence

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Composition and Clarity

    ·         TAQE (structuring open-ended writing)

    ·         Evidence Use/Citation

    ·         Explanation of evidence

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Composition and Analysis

    ·         SEXI (structuring open-ended writing)

    ·         Evidence Use/Citation

    ·         Quality/originality of analysis

    ·         TS’s that argue

    ·         “Insight”

                                                                                                                                             
    New Model:

    K

    1

    2

    3

    4

    5

    6

    7

    8

    9

    10

    11

    12

    College

    Composition and Clarity

    ·         RACE (structuring open-ended writing)

    ·         Evidence Use/Citation

    ·         Explanation of evidence

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Argumentation and Analysis

    ·         TS’s that argue

    ·         Quality/originality of analysis (NEZZ)

    ·         Basic compositional risks

    ·         Clinchers

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

     

    Structure, Style and Originality

    ·         TS’s that argue

    ·         Organizing Evidence to build to a clincher

    ·         Quality/originality of analysis (NEZZ)

    ·         Style (advanced compositional risks)

    ·         Structural flexibility